Creating a good life WITH my disabled daughter

‘Ordinary lives in ordinary places’ is the buzz phrase in disability policy right now, and you’ll have seen it before on this blog.

It appears to mean providing the supports and services that disabled people need to live independently in the community. But as far as I’m aware there’s no room in this policy for those with expensive high supports needs (severe/profound disabilities). The implicit assumption is that families will provide cradle to grave care and be responsible for ensuring that their loved ones enjoy a fulfilling life too.

I think that’s very unfair on my disabled daughter B, but for now I’m going to make best of it, and try to create a good life for both of us.

And this week we made a lot of progress.

Powerchair Training

On Wednesday I went to see B learning how to use a powerchair. It’s early days, but she has the most patient person I have ever met working with her. I’m so grateful she has been given this opportunity, and while she has a lot more progress to make, it was fabulous to see her reaching for the joystick, especially as it’s currently positioned in a difficult place for her to reach, due to her limited range of movement.

A dual control powerchair would give her more freedom, and conserve some of my energy too. So I really hope she succeeds in proving she can do this. I think she can.

Bowling

B enjoys bowling, especially with friends and when it’s quiet enough so she can hear the background music. It’s also one of the few sports she can do unaided, though when we went this week with the Rainbow Junior Arch Club, she needed a bit of hand over hand assistance to remind her what to do.

But I am not a fan! Especially as bowling alleys are usually hot, dark and noisy, and the sun always seems to be shining outside, where I’d much rather be. But a good life has to mean that I must try and enjoy B’s favourite activities, as well as bringing her to things I know we both enjoy – like music festivals. My eldest daughter always tells me that I can learn to love something if I persevere with it – she said it worked for her and green tea…. Going with the Club at a quiet time meant it was much more enjoyable for me, and I will try my best to go again.

Running in the Park

I haven’t taken part in an evening race for about 20 years, but I decided to be brave and try and run a 5K race pushing B on Thursday evening. It was organised by a friend of mine in aid of Snowflakes Autism, a local charity that helped one of my other children in the past.

It was like pushing a tank: her adult buggy definitely needs a service, and I might even ask Santa for a jogging buggy to make running easier still. But it was great fun and we even had some very welcome help along the way. And our time? 35 minutes and 22 seconds. Not too shabby ☺

So those are my reasons to be cheerful for this week: head over to Mummy from the Heart for more.

R2BC at Mummy from the Heart

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7 thoughts on “Creating a good life WITH my disabled daughter

    1. I love seeing your park run posts, great that your Evan enjoys them. B would love pub trad sessions, but maybe too much – her appreciation might drown out the music!

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  1. Your 5K time is more than ‘not too shabby’, you did amazing pushing B and it is great to ear how she can get involved in so many things but I realise this can be thoroughly exhausting for you. Mich x

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