And just like that, she’s gone. Twenty five years of parenting gone in a flash.
Bags hanging at every angle, squeezing awkwardly through the porch door, keep cup in hand, out into the grey early morning light.
Heading away to begin a new job.
There was planning, shopping, grumps, nerves, anticipation, a hug or two and a final goodbye.
She’s left behind a well-used Tassimo, a huge collection of plastic food containers, bags and bags of old clothes that she no longer wears but cannot bear to throw away just yet, and an empty room. I will have to get used to that.
My first born taught me to become a good enough parent, she taught me that parenting is fun and frustrating by turns, rewarding and exhausting, transforming and fulfilling. I made many mistakes, that she teases me about now, but said nothing about back then.
And of course I’m going to miss her, especially the chats we had every evening when she arrived home from work, bursting to tell me all about her day. But I’m not sad. This is the natural order of things. This is how it’s supposed to go. This is what all those years of parenting were for. She’s launched herself into the world. She’s chosen her big adventure. I know she’s going to pour every ounce of energy and determination into it. I know she will succeed in making her mark.
I love her and I’m proud of her, and also she’s back on Friday for the weekend ….