I climb the stairs slowly, trying to catch my breath. Sometimes it feels like I’m climbing towards the sun as the light usually bathes this upper floor. I pause at the door, but the studio is empty as usual, and a feeling of calm begins to flow gently through my limbs.
No music on this level, just whatever I choose to listen to on my headphones. No one’s watching, so I can do my own thing. Try out routines I’ve seen others do downstairs, practice my cartwheels and handstands, look silly: no one will know.
This is my new gym.
I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s taken a while to cement our relationship.
The weights room in the gym is where the hard work takes place. I take a tour of the machines until I feel completely exhausted, and there’s always other people around so I just do what I know. It’s noisy and hot and sometimes busy.
But few people bother with the studio upstairs.
I love that I can switch off completely. I don’t have to speak to anyone, and no-one is looking for me. There are no piles of dirty clothes or dishes demanding to be cleaned. No stacks of paperwork demanding to be sorted.
You’ll probably remember that my happy place used to be the beach, but not even the sound of the sea can drown out the negative thoughts in my head. Nor do I enjoy running alone right now for similar reasons, and also because I’m afraid of bumping into people and having to smile politely when they ask me how work is going, or tell me how great it is that I get a break while B is in her day programme.
So TG for the gym, and the chance to work it all out in peace.
Finding it, and enjoying it, is my main reason to be cheerful for this week.*
*I’m excluding the run at the weekend, which I will include in an entire piece on assisted running, when I get time…